How to Run Like No One's Clapping, Even if They Are

I've run the Chicago Marathon every year since 2017 and it's my favorite race I've ever run!! I've run over 150+ road races across America (and France!) and The Chicago Marathon has the best crowd support of any race I've ever run!!

The cheers! The signs! And don't forget, the cowbells! 

But what about all of those runs leading up to this big moment? 

The 4am run before work. The lunchtime quickie on the tread. The lonely 20-miler on a Saturday morning.

Who was clapping then?

As you know, the marathon is only the last 26.2 miles of the journey. 

Similar to an iceberg, people can only see the top....the celebratory moment you cross the finish line. 

They don't see the broken toe nails, chafing on your thighs, or the mobility work. 

During those stretches of road, you may not hear claps.

And if you only run when you hear clapping, you may be tempted to stop, but we're not stopping. 

That's why it's essential to learn how to clap for yourself.

On the road.

At home.

At work.

In life.

Because when you can run like no one's clapping, you're unstoppable.

And there is nothing more powerful than a woman who claps for herself. 

Are you ready to step into your power?

Listen to this episode of Mile Marker Matriarch, where I break down why running like no one’s clapping might be the most powerful shift you’ll ever make. You’ll learn a 3-step framework to stop chasing external validation, anchor into intrinsic motivation, and build your own internal applause.

Because applause fades. Your strength doesn’t.

Episode Resources (Studies Referenced)

1.     The Progress Principle – Small Wins Matter Most
Harvard Business School: https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=40692

2.     Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation Review
Psychological Medicine (2022): https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9340849/

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Email the show at milemarkermatriarch@gmail.com

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to How to Run Like No One's Clapping
• 0:33 Welcome to Season 2!

Transcript

Stacy (00:26)
today we're going to talk about how to run like no one's clapping and why that might be the most powerful training you'll ever do.

Have

you ever crushed a run or a goal and the response was, silence? No text, no cheer squad, just you and your footsteps. If you only move when someone claps, you'll stop when they don't, and we're not stopping. Today, I'll show you how to build motivation so strong it never needs an audience.

the key to feeling accomplished and proud after an achievement is not measured by the sound of the claps you hear, but the voice inside yourself. And I can show you the magic of running like no one's clapping.

By the end of this episode, you'll have a simple three-step framework to run, literally and metaphorically, without needing anyone's applause. You'll know how to redefine success, turn up your intrinsic motivation, and build your own internal clap so you can keep going, regardless of who notices.

Stacy (01:20)
Before we dive in, I want to take a pause and say welcome to season two of the mile marker matriarch podcast. I cannot thank you enough for being a part of this journey. Season one laid the foundation and in season two, we're going deeper into resilience, purpose and power. Now let's lace up and begin.

Stacy (01:37)
Here at Mile Marker Matriarch, we explore the mile markers that we visit throughout our life's journey. Mile markers don't all look the same. The path isn't always linear. Sometimes we find ourselves looping back to a marker that we thought we already passed. Some go by too fast, others too slow. We linger at some, we try to speed past others. Some mile markers are filled with people by our side. We may hear cheering and clapping and feel loved, supported, and seen. I think about the Chicago Marathon

being one of those mile markers for me. The Chicago Marathon is special to me for many reasons, but the most important reason is because my kids and I go together every year. I've run the Chicago Marathon every year since 2017 and my kids have been by my side each year.

We all enjoy visiting all the Chicago attractions. go to the Writer's Museum, Navy Pier, and shop along Magnificent Mile. I am filled with love with the two people who mean the most to me in the world being by my side. And the race itself! The Chicago Marathon has the best crowd support of any race I've ever run. There are huge crowds of people on either side of the road throughout the entire marathon course. I love seeing the hilarious signs as spectators hold up. If a marathon

was

easy. You'd be called your mom. On a scale of 1 to 10, you're 26.2. And this one really makes me laugh. Which one of you fart-licked?

The sound of cowbells and shouts of encouragement fill my ears. The spectators cheer for every runner, some even holding signs, go random stranger, and it truly feels like every person is cheering for you. It's even better if you put your name on the front of your race shirt because spectators will call out your name and you really feel like a hero.

But there are stretches of road where we may find ourselves alone. We may not have familiar faces along the sideline. We may not hear the cheers of the crowd. And the worst part?

No cowbell.

key to feeling accomplished and proud after an achievement isn't measured. And that the key to feeling accomplished and proud after an achievement is not measured by the sound of the claps you hear, but the voice inside yourself. And I can show you the magic of running like no one's clapping.

By the end of this episode, you'll have a simple three-step framework to run, literally and metaphorically, without needing anyone's applause. You'll know how to redefine success, turn up your intrinsic motivation, and build your own internal clap so you can keep going, regardless of who notices.

Here at Mile Marker Matriarch, we explore the mile markers that we visit throughout our life's journey. Mile markers don't all look the same. The path isn't always linear. Sometimes we find ourselves looping back to a marker that we thought we already passed. Some go by too fast, others too slow. We linger at some, we try to speed past others. Some mile markers are filled with people by our side. We may hear cheering and clapping and feel loved, supported, and seen. I think about the Chicago Marathon

being one of those mile markers for me. The Chicago Marathon is special to me for many reasons, but the most important reason is because my kids and I go together every year. I've run the Chicago Marathon every year since 2017 and my kids have been by my side each year. We all go together, enjoy traveling, Chicago,

We all enjoy visiting all the Chicago attractions. go to the Writer's Museum, Navy Pier, and shop along Magnificent Mile. I am filled with love with the two people who mean the most to me in the world and them being by my side.

And the race itself! The Chicago Marathon has the best crowd support of any race I've ever run. There are huge crowds of people on either side of the road throughout the entire marathon course.

I love seeing the hilarious signs as spectators hold up. If a marathon

was

easy. You'd be called your mom. On a scale of 1 to 10, you're 26.2. And this one really makes me laugh. Which one of you fart-licked?

The sound of cowbells and shouts of encouragement fill my ears. The spectators cheer for every runner, some even holding signs, go random stranger, and it truly feels like every person is cheering for you. It's even better if you put your name on the front of your race shirt because spectators will call out your name and you really feel like a hero.

But there are stretches of road where we may find ourselves alone. We may not have familiar faces along the sideline. We may not hear the cheers of the crowd. And the worst part?

No cowbell. All joking aside, there are many mile markers not only in running but in life when you won't have people cheering you on. The marathon is only the last 26.2 miles of your marathon journey. What most people don't see are the hundreds of miles that got you ready to run this last leg. The majority of marathon training is the unglamorous work behind the scenes. The grind is relentless, comprised of early morning runs, drills, strength training, and mobility

work. It's ugly, let's be honest. Losing toenails, discovering your chafed spots in the shower, desperately trying to find a restroom along your running trail, when you can't, shitting in the woods, peeling off sweat-drenched running clothes. There are the early morning runs where you have to force yourself out of bed. Hill repeats that make you want to vomit. Running the same route week after week just to get those miles in.

90 % of the marathon journey takes place in

unglamorous work and during those moments you may not hear clapping. Maybe right now you're at a mile marker where you may not have someone in your life to provide emotional encouragement or to help you through those tough mental aspects of running. Or maybe you don't have someone to congratulate you when you're done with your long run.

or for running when you didn't feel like it. And you may not have a cheerleader on the sidelines and you may not have someone waiting for you at the finish line. Maybe you felt this way in the past, or maybe you're one of the lucky ones who has never felt this way, but you want to learn how you can clap for yourself in the same way that you clap for others.

I've run more than 150 road races from 5Ks to marathons since I started running back in 1998, and there have been many mile markers where I didn't hear clapping. I didn't see supporters on the sidelines. At times, I even felt a tugging, attempting to pull me back like an anvil strapped to my back. It was even harder to run with resistance. I felt like I was running through cement, with each step hardening and threatening to keep me stuck. I was tempted to give up.

It was hard, too hard. I questioned if it was worth it. Maybe I should stop resisting and allow the cement to swallow and harden around me. I started sinking. But then I finally saw what was happening and I began trying to put one foot in front of the other, lifting it up from the wet cement, barely escaping the entrapment. It was hard. It was slow. But I made my way out. The tugging finally stopped. I was free.

And while I still couldn't hear clapping, I didn't care. I was out. I was free. The slow clunky steps eventually became a walk and then a run until my feet were back on the pavement and the anvil was off my back. The air around me was silent, but

I heard a sound so faint at first I could barely recognize it.

And then I realized it was the sound of my own hands

clapping for myself. The awkward tap

grew to a booming roar. And I realized in those moments of silence, I needed to clap for myself. I'm a woman who learned to clap for herself, and I want to help you learn how to clap for yourself too. Because here's what I learned. When you learn to clap for yourself, you don't need outside validation. And when you've reached a place of no longer relying upon outside validation, you are free.

Not only will you have more freedom, but you'll be more resilient, have enhanced emotional stability, and a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence. And you'll realize that applause is optional. Self-trust is essential.

Running like no one's clapping isn't only advice for those who don't have a support system, but I encourage every single woman to run like no one's clapping even if someone is because there is no more powerful force than a woman who does not need outside validation.

I mentioned on an earlier podcast how discipline is what will get you across the finish line, not motivation. When you're disciplined, you will show up on the days you're not motivated. When motivation's there, that's great. It's like the cherry on top of the ice cream.

External validation is similar to motivation. It's wonderful when it's there, but you cannot solely rely upon it to achieve your goals. External validation is not reliable, consistent, or guaranteed.

And the challenge is, if you solely rely upon external validation to chase your dreams, what happens when it's not there? Motivation and external validation are flaky bitches. You need something more solid, reliable, and consistent. you should cross that finish line feeling proud of yourself. Strong, confident.

not disappointed that people didn't show up to cheer you on or upset you didn't get enough likes on your post or views on your story. You may not get a text complimenting you on your finish. And even if you do, there is no one in the world that that race means more to than yourself. Ask yourself, are you doing this for other people or are you doing this for yourself? And I hope you said that you run for you.

And if you're running for you, then you are the perfect person to validate your accomplishment. You are the one who saw those early morning runs that felt like shit. You're the one who did the mobility work. You're the one who felt the sting of water on your chafed thighs in the shower.

You're the one who felt elated when you had a great run. When you finally saw results from weeks or months of strength training. You're the one who felt how the mobility work strengthened your joints and helped you with your running form. Running a marathon is like an iceberg. Others only see the top of it.

The final 26.2 miles of the journey is the race itself. And even then, your loved ones may only see you for a few minutes. The support, love, and care that they give you is appreciated. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that runners don't need and want to feel loved, supported, and seen while running. But view it as a bonus. Because the loudest clap should come within.

the advice that I give to all of you is not only how to keep running when no one's clapping, but why I want you to always run like no one's clapping. Because when you run like no one's clapping, you build resilience. When you support yourself, when you view your setbacks as stepping stones rather than devastating failures, it'll help you bounce back and learn from your mistakes. If you tie your worth to claps, you will always feel behind. But when you build resilience and intrinsic

motivation, the quiet becomes your training ground.

you'll build self-worth, trust within yourself, and confidence. And by setting your own standard of self-worth and respect, you become less reliant on external approval for your well-being and happiness. All right, so let's move into the framework. I am going to teach you a three-step framework for how you can start to run like no one's clapping, even if they are.

So step one, I want you to redefine success because success isn't the clap. The success is in showing up. Success is I showed up today when it would have been easier not to because the real power is in the small wins, the little victories that happen along the way.

There was a study done on the progress principle and I will drop a link to the study in the show notes. And they found that when you accomplish something, even something small like a tough workout or hitting a new pace, your brain rewards you with a rush of dopamine. That's a reward within itself. And I want you to soak that in. When you do something new, when you accomplish something small, take a moment to accept it and appreciate it.

And that brings me to the next one. I want you to practice gratitude because it can be really easy to focus on what you can't do or what you still have to do or what's ahead of you. It could be easy to focus on what you don't have. But instead, on your next run, I want you to practice gratitude throughout your run. If you're running outside, observe nature. Appreciate the beautiful sky or the trees. As we head into fall, I always appreciate the beautiful leaves changing into yellow, orange, and purple.

Even if it's not a sunny, beautiful day, a few weeks back I ran in the rain it was very overcast, rainy and gray. But I took a moment to appreciate that it was cooler because of the rain. The cloud coverage actually gave me some relief from the hot sun and it made my run really enjoyable. So even if you're running in the rain, find the joy. There's always joy out there. You just have to find it and be open to it.

So I'm going to give you a prompt and I want you to ask yourself, what does winning look like for me today with zero witnesses?

Step two, don't solely focus on the end result. Enjoy the journey along the way. The wins don't have to be tied to athletic performance. Oftentimes my biggest wins are when I feel good running. Last weekend I was on cloud nine because it was my first run in a long time when my knee didn't hurt.

And you know yourself best to understand what things challenge you the most. Not hitting snooze on your alarm. Setting boundaries to adhere to your running schedule. Following your training plan. Warming up before you run.

stretching and foam rolling after your run. All these seemingly small actions are driving you forward. They are helping you become a better runner. And these actions are also ones that don't typically get a big applause from the outside world. But this is where you leverage the power within yourself to recognize yourself for the big wins and the small. Which brings me to my next step.

Step three is I want you to anchor to intrinsic motivation. Now intrinsic motivation is typically used to describe the incentive we feel inside when we complete a task and it's that sense of achievement that we feel because we find it interesting or enjoyable. But you don't always have to find something enjoyable to anchor to that intrinsic motivation.

Extrinsic motivation is what we feel when we complete a task for an external reward. So let's just bring this back to running. So if you run a 20 mile run this weekend, your intrinsic motivation might be that sense of accomplishment that you hit one of your goals that was on your training plan and you achieved it and you are one step closer to the marathon. That sense of accomplishment and pride in yourself, that is the intrinsic motivation.

Extrinsic motivation would be something outside. So if you ran a 20-miler and you didn't feel good about yourself unless you posted it on Instagram and you received a certain number of comments or likes congratulating you on your run, that would be extrinsic motivation. Another example would be when you're running a marathon, your intrinsic motivation might be that sense of accomplishment you feel when you cross the finish line. The extrinsic motivation might be the medal that you receive at the end of the race.

Both are fine. I want to make sure that I level set that I'm not saying we have to only rely upon intrinsic motivation.

A healthy balance would be to have a good balance of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

Leaning too far on either side isn't the right answer. But I think that in today's world, we do rely too much upon extrinsic motivation and that we should really anchor more to intrinsic motivation to keep us moving forward.

is actually a study published in the Sci School Med Journal and it talks about what motivates us. It's a detailed review of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. I will drop a link to the study in the show notes.

Researchers found that intrinsically motivated behaviors are computationally similar to extrinsically motivated behaviors in that they strive to maximize

the reward value and minimize punishment.

Researchers found that higher quality learning and performance come from intrinsically motivated behaviors. So things like curiosity, exploration, or mastery seeking, these lead to deeper learning and more flexible problem solving than those driven only by external incentives. So if we think about this with running, I know that for me, a lot of what I like to do with my runs is see what my body can do. And this recent injury has actually taught me so much about appreciating

getting

my ability to run and being a little more curious about how my body works. It's put me much more in tune because I found myself before just kind of grinding out the runs, putting in the runs day after day, but an injury forces you to slow down. It forces you to look at things like how is my form? Am I doing enough strength training? What mobility work can I do? I've been doing a lot with my PT on some specific moves for increasing my knee strength. And what's really interesting is these are the things that

are not glamorous, just as I was talking about earlier. I'm doing clam shells. I'm

putting a ball up against a wall and putting pressure from my knee up against the ball, squeezing for approximately 10 to 15 seconds and then releasing. It looks like I'm doing nothing and from the outside you can't even see any movement. It's all internal and that's very similar to the intrinsically motivated behaviors, right? Because this is all internal within yourself. People can't even see that work I was doing. If someone looked at me doing the exercise of pushing my knee against the ball on the wall, they would think I was just standing there.

relaxing. but I have done that consistently for a week and I have noticed my knee strength has improved significantly. So that's part of the higher quality learning and performance. I'm curious about how I can continue to improve my form. How can I strengthen my weak areas? How can I balance out my left and right sides? And that is helping me have some curiosity and deeper learning and thinking about some problem solving. And that is driving me to improve

my runs. And that is something that I'm not going to get external validation on, Like no one's going to see that work I'm doing and say, wow, great job for a ball against the wall. if you're intrinsically motivated and you know that you want to feel better when you run, that's something that will lead you to being able to have that intrinsically motivated behavior.

The researchers also found that intrinsically motivated behavior leads to resilience to setbacks. Because intrinsic motivation is tied to enjoyment, meaning, or self-driven goals, it promotes greater resilience and continued effort compared to external rewards because that can undermine persistence when challenges arise. Okay, let's bring this back to running. this is why I like to focus on purpose over pace, because I feel like

If you're focusing on purpose over pace, it really helps you anchor more to the intrinsic motivation inside of yourself. You're running for enjoyment or to challenge yourself or because you have a personal goal. something that you have set ahead of yourself and you are achieving it. If you tie your performance and if you tie your motivation to external rewards, what happens when a challenge does arise?

I'll tie this back to my own personal experience,

the whole month of August, I was not able to run. which required me to take a huge step back and focus on mobility work, strength,

healing.

If I'm relying upon external validation to continue, I will be really tempted to give up. And I've been tempted to give up before. I think all runners probably have. you've

asked yourself the question why the fuck am I doing this? I feel like we've all had those moments but resilience is about getting back up.

after you fall.

One of my core beliefs is that running is life and life is running. The lessons you learn when running will translate over to your life and the lessons you learn in life can translate over to your running. Resilience is one of those things that I had to learn the hard way

I had a conversation with my daughter the other day and I told her that I think one of the biggest indicators of success is resilience. Being able to pick yourself back up after you fall is the number one most important skill for success in life because we are all going to have times we fall.

Unfortunately, that is part of life. Life is not always a forward progression. It's not climbing a ladder. It's not consistently hitting every mile marker on time at the right pace and continue to move forward. there are going to be times we revisit, where we loop back, where we've fallen, we've gone backwards. But the most important thing is being able to get back up and continue.

view those setbacks as learning opportunities versus beating yourself up over a mistake. And in order to do that, in order to build your resilience, you have to build intrinsic motivation inside of yourself. Because if you're only going to get back up if someone holds out a hand to help you, or you're only going to get back up because someone's watching,

That's not going to help you with long-term success. You need to have it within yourself to pull yourself back up after you fall, dust yourself off, and keep going. The other thing that intrinsic motivation helps with is autonomy and ownership. So the researchers found that intrinsic motivation fosters a stronger sense of autonomy and personal ownership, which research shows enhances creativity, satisfaction, and performance

The other thing that intrinsic motivation can do for us is it helps avoid the undermining effect. So intrinsic rewards can actually reduce intrinsic motivation by shifting the focus away from internal satisfaction. In other words, if you have an over-reliance on extrinsic drivers, this can really backfire on you. if you're waiting for someone to congratulate you, if you're only motivated when someone is clapping, when someone is excited for you, when you're getting the likes,

When that goes away, what happens? That is why you need to build it within yourself so no one can take that from you. So here's some exercises that I want you to do to help you with these things. I want you to name your honest why. Why are you running? Why do you run? We talk a lot about running for purpose. What is your purpose?

And even if you don't know right now, I want you to journal about this and I want you to try to get to the why. Why do you run?

And it may start with something surface, but I want you to keep going deeper. my initial why of why I started running, I ran to lose weight. I did not have some big goal or some lofty purpose I started running because I was 100 pounds overweight.

I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to get the pounds off and just like I tackle anything else I tackle it from a let me learn everything about weight loss. So I was reading all these different books on how to lose weight and all of them mentioned exercise and diet had to be part of the equation and I was so upset. I didn't want to run. I didn't want to do any exercise. I was the kid that had their mom write a note to get them out of PE.

When I was in elementary, I begged my mom, please write a note saying I can't do PE. And she would do it sometimes. Other times I was forced to do it. Always hit in the head with the ball, picked last for the team, you know, all of that. I did not like exercise. I was...

terrible at it. I was picked last and what that did is continually being picked last and continually being told that you're not good at something. You just start to believe it and I'm like I'm not meant for this. I'm just not good at this. That's the story I told myself. So in 1998 when I was trying to lose weight I'm like I'm not good at this. I can't. How can I exercise? I'm terrible at all sports. But I was like well if this is the way to lose weight I was at my ends rope. I'm like I then I have to do it. I up in a book. I was like what exercise burns the most calories?

calories per hour. Looked at the little chart, running said it burned the most calories. I said, okay, that's what I'm going to do. There was, I lived in apartments. We had a gym in our apartment building. That was a shared gym. They had one treadmill and I went on the treadmill and at first I started walking and then I would try to incorporate jogs, maybe a few seconds at a time.

I would go to that gym and I would run. And there was a guy who would come in the gym as well. It was only me and him. I would go early before work. I had to be at work at 7 a.m. So

I was on that tread at 5 a.m. trying to get in a walk, run or whatever before work. he would come in at the same time, the same guy. he would be so frustrated if he happened to arrive when I was already on the tread. And when I mean frustrated, he would sigh, roll his eyes, make gestures like, when are you going to be done? there was a 30 minute limit, so I was only on at 30 minutes. But if he happened to walk in when I was at minute one, I didn't care.

how loudly he sighed or how much he rolled his eyes. I wasn't getting off that treadmill until my 30 minutes was done. That's what I was awarded. That's what the the gym rules were and I was going to adhere to that. So he did this for a while and finally one day he was like, can I just get in there? He clearly had an attitude that I didn't belong there. I was fat. I was a woman and I wasn't

fully running. he was seeing my little attempts at trying to run for a few seconds, 10 seconds, 15 seconds, you know, mainly walking. And he thought, this fat bitch isn't doing anything. She's hogging the treadmill. what is she doing? She doesn't belong here. I belong here. I deserve to be on this tread more than her.

when he asked me, can you get off so I can get my workout in? I said no. And I did not speak up for myself back then. I had a really hard time.

This was a goal I had put in front of myself and I was intrinsically motivated to make this happen because my why at that time was to lose 100 pounds and I wasn't letting some asshole get in my way. So I told him no and he was upset and he slammed the door and left but I'm like that's his choice. I didn't know Mel Robbins theory of let them back then. but at that time I said let him be pissed and let me continue my workout and I did.

But my why has changed over the years. have been, running has meant many different things to me. And if it only meant weight loss, when I lost the weight, would I be able to continue? If it only was tied to how I looked on the outside?

I think I would have a really hard time being consistent with running. So I want you to dig deeper and ask your why. Are you running to heal? Are you running to develop strength? Are you running to live longer? Are you running so you can play with your kids and not run out of energy or not get out of breath? Hell, are you running so when you walk up the stairs with your friends, you're not gasping for air at the end? Because I remember that being a real problem for me. I would walk up the stairs in my school and all my friends would just be, you know, up there and just talking the

time and I was gasping for breath. So it could be something like that or maybe you're running because you want to prove to yourself you can do it. once you find your why I want you to say it out loud. I am running for you fill in your blank. What are you running for? Ask yourself dig deep and I want you to make your why louder than the silence.

step three is I want you to build your own clap. I'm going to show you some rituals you can do to help build your own clap. first, let's talk about finish rituals. I want you to build in some micro rewards for yourself. Maybe you make your favorite recovery drink, make a protein shake. It sounds very simple, but there's this new

coffee mocha protein powder that you can make an iced coffee with 20 grams of protein. It's amazing. Maybe that's your mini micro reward. After you do your run, you're going to fuel your muscles with a nice iced coffee. Or maybe you're going to go to Starbucks and get a punk a spice latte. maybe you're going to stretch to your favorite playlist.

Possibly after your run you're going to get a massage. Sometimes I'll tell myself after this long run on Saturday I'll book a massage for Sunday and I'll say I do this long run I'm going to get a nice massage the next day and that gets me through I'd love a massage. So that one's a great motivator

During the Chicago Marathon, my reward is a post-run pizza. Lou Malnatis is my favorite pizza in Chicago. I love pizza, it's my favorite food. I don't like deep dish, but Lou Malnatis has a thin-crust cheese pizza that is to die for.

After my run, I go back to my hotel room. take a Epsom salt bath. order Luminati's and lay in the hotel bed and eat my pizza in bed. It is the best indulgence and I look forward to it every year.

taking a long bath, maybe reading a book. I know last weekend I said, if I get through this 20-miler on Sunday, I'm not doing shit. I am going to be lazy all day long. And I was. And it felt wonderful. So build in those micro rewards. I you know yourself better than anyone else. You know what motivates you. You know what is meaningful to you. buy yourself your favorite magazine, go explore a bookstore. spend time with your kids. Whatever it is to you, build in those micro rewards so that way you

have some consistent rewards when you're done with your runs that you can look forward to.

The second thing I want you to do is set your personal goals. write down your goals in your notes app or your journal and I want you to focus on dreams and goals that align with your most authentic self, no one else's. Journal about your run and I want you to challenge negative self-talk.

I am the worst about this. I'm just going to admit I have some very negative self-talk sometimes and sometimes I get in a spiral where it may start with one negative thing and I am just berating myself by the end.

I want you to challenge your negative self-talk and replace that harsh criticism with kind encouraging words. what helps me is when I'm ask myself, what would I say to my kids in this moment? What would I say to a client? I'd be encouraging them and building them up. I wouldn't be telling them all these negative things. Or friend, treat yourself with the same respect that you treat others.

I also want you to celebrate your micro wins within the run. Each mile, refocus, play your favorite song or dedicate each mile to someone you love. Before I run the Chicago Marathon, I always ask my friends and family to send me a song that I can listen to in that mile that will make me think of them. And I want to be surprised, I usually don't listen to it before the run. And during that mile,

I will play the song that they've sent me and I will dedicate that entire mile to them. I'll think about how much I love them. I'll think about all the wonderful memories I have with them. I think about funny stories and that really helps get me through that next mile. So do that for yourself. Play your favorite song or dedicate it to a loved one. To celebrate micro wins throughout your run, you can also use mantras. Some of my favorites are, I trained for this.

I can do hard things. I'm strong. I am showing up for myself. I don't need an audience to be an athlete. Remind yourself of your progress and affirm your own self-worth. remind yourself of your strengths and give yourself genuine praise.

Write a when, then script to prepare yourself for those moments when you know that you might start some negative talk. Or those moments when you are seeking external validation. prepare ahead of time be proactive and script to prepare yourself for that moment. An example would be when I notice the urge for claps, then I breathe and I touch my heart and say, my worth isn't waiting on an audience.

now that we've talked about why you should run like no one's clapping, and I've given you the tools for how you can run like no one's clapping, I have a 24 hour challenge for you. I want you to do a 10 to 30 minute run walk, no post, no share, no screenshot. Then I want you to write one sentence. Today I showed up by, fill in the blank, how did you show up for yourself today?

then at the finish, I want you to Reward yourself. do one of the micro rewards that we talked about before, and I want you to reward yourself.

As we close out today's episode, I want to remind you, you are strong. You are powerful. You have everything within yourself to be successful and you have everything within yourself to build yourself up and to remind yourself who the fuck you are. And when you run,

Without claps, you can run through anything. You are building resilience and you will continue to be successful time after time. today, go do your quiet miles, build your own clap, and let external applause be a bonus, not your lifeline.

As we close today's episode, want you to remember, here's the truth. Applause fades.

crowds disperse, but your strength, your purpose, that stays. You don't need anyone standing at the finish line to prove you belong there. You belong because you laced up. You belong because you showed up. And when you run like no one's clapping, you stop chasing validation and start creating liberation. You realize the miles are yours and yours alone to claim. So take up space, breathe deep, push forward. Every step is its own ovation.

If this episode helped you today, please share it with another woman who's

running her own quiet miles. Subscribe so you don't miss what's next challenge sentence. I want to hear how you're building your own applause. Run strong, run free, and most of all, run like no one's clapping.

how do I say this word?

my God, delete that, so gross.

No, I don't like that. Okay.

Okay, Erase 3950.

my God, stop every step.

Say this again, a race 29 beginning.

Stacy (33:51)
Thanks so much for listening to the Mile Marker Matriarch podcast. I am here as your running buddy and friend, not your doctor. The information in this podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. It's not a substitute for medical advice. Please consult your physician or healthcare provider before making any changes to your exercise, nutrition, or health routine. Everybody is different, so listen to yours. I'm cheering for you always.